


Replaced

by BreeGold



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, Loss, Lost Love, Rejection, sorta - Freeform, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28122387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BreeGold/pseuds/BreeGold
Summary: Yaz and the Doctor are alone together after Revolution, but not for long.
Relationships: The Doctor & Yasmin Khan, Thirteenth Doctor/Yasmin Khan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Replaced

They were finally back together, Yaz had a ten months without her, and the Doctor had had far longer. After the dust settled with everything that happened with Ryan and Graham, Yaz and the Doctor traveled alone for a while.  
‘Best bits’ the Doctor had promised, and she’d delivered, they went for a picnic in New Central Park in New New York, Yaz couldn’t stop the Doctor snacking on the apple grass. They went to a planet made of hot springs, and an asteroid belt of gold. They rode the Orient Express, in space. Yaz had loved it, loved seeing the Doctor happy again, she knew prison was rough, but they were both healing. Then they met her. Lucia. The Doctor invited her aboard the moment they’d saved the day together. Yaz was a little taken aback but she rationalised that she had just been travelling with three people. She was a people person, apart from when she suddenly wasn’t, she thought, remembering how the Doctor would sometimes peddle out the ‘socially awkward’ excuse when Yaz was having a hard time with something. It was most of the reason why Yaz kept her feelings about Lucia to herself. If she said anything and the Doctor froze on her, she didn’t know what she’d do then. 

The three of them were in the TARDIS, in flight, the Doctor was operating the ship manically, turning the dials and switches while the crystalline column rose and fell and the engines groaned. Yaz was holding onto one of the pillars watching Lucia who was letting the turbulence throw her around, she took the TARDIS’s rough flights like she took everything else, carefree and in stride. Yaz thought that she was reckless. Always running into trouble. Just like the Doctor. She glanced over at the Doctor who pulled the main materialisation lever and clapped her hands and twirled, pointing at Lucia,  
“Now that, is how you land in the middle of a hurricane” she declared as the vapour screens on the console displayed the surroundings outside.  
“Lucia Paul, Yasmin Khan, meet Hurricane Doctor” she said, Yaz frowned at her name being second then hated herself for doing so. 

Yaz opened her mouth to speak but Lucia beat her to it, as she increasingly did;  
“Someone finally named something appropriate after you then?” Lucia asked the Doctor as she bounced over to the doors.  
“I resent that miss” the Doctor said as she followed Lucia out the doors, pulling her coat on, they even walked alike, Yaz thought, still standing next to the console.  
The Doctor didn’t look back, slipping out the TARDIS doors. Yaz turned and watched them on the console’s vapour screen.  
The TARDIS shields were up and the hurricane raged just beyond its peaceful protected bubble. They were chatting away next to each other, all exaggerated gestures, and gurning faces. Yaz sighed and waved her hand over the mist, turning the screen off. The TARDIS vworped at her, indignantly.  
“Get out my head” Yaz muttered to the machine as she walked off towards the stairs that lead to the rest of the ship, let them enjoy their storm, she thought as she left the console room. The door creaked open and the Doctor popped her head inside.  
“Yaz you comin?” she called, but Lucia pulled her back outside to show her something caught in the fierce wind and the door swung shut again. 

Yaz curled up on her bunk in her bedroom. The other two were unoccupied since the boys...Yaz sighed again and pushed her head into the duvet. She was being stupid. She knew it, but she still felt it. So strongly. The Doctor and her were different now. It had all changed, she wanted to leave, she wanted Lucia to leave, she wanted her Doctor back. The one who looked at her and only her, in a roomful people. She knew that she shouldn’t feel like this but she couldn’t help it. She felt just like when she ran away from home. Tiny things became huge and they weighed her down. She felt worthless and unwanted. The Doctor had made her feel like a person, like someone she wanted to be, someone worth being. But now she was focused on someone else. Yaz balled her fists and hit the mattress. She was angry at herself, Lucia, and the Doctor all at once. She wanted nothing more than to get up, out of bed, and go join them, to have an adventure, to stop feeling this. 

A clang made her jump and look up as the cog door to her room slid open. The Doctor was stood in the doorway.  
“You alright Yaz?” She asked softly, leaning in gingerly.  
“Fine, don’t you knock?” Yaz snapped, wiping her tears away, of course she’d been crying, she thought to herself, pathetic.  
“The doors are automatic...” the Doctor explained, biting her lip, giving her that frown of concern Yaz had seen a thousand times.  
“Sorry, I just, needed some time alone, I-“ Yaz trailed off, everything she wanted to say seemed locked away, impossible to get out, so she was just left with vaguery, hoping the Doctor would speak her feelings for her, but of course, she took the easy way out of the convo,  
“Oh right, well me and Lucia will be outside for a bit longer, then we’re going to Kataa Flo Ko, nothing to do with the Judoon mind, its a planet with diamond coral reefs, ten miles wide” she said before she turned and with a flap of her coat, she was gone again.  
“Me and Lucia” Yaz repeated bitterly, “me and Lucia...”

Their happy travels were always interrupted by aliens, monsters, alien monsters, Empires falling, raiders raiding, and all manner of danger. Yaz found herself in another adventure, right after a peaceful, if dull, tea with Emmanuel Kant, the Doctor could debate Kant for years, and she nearly did. They were in a space station that was crashing into the atmosphere of a colony planet of some Federation or other, when it came to deep space and the seventy ninth century, Yaz barely listened to the names. The Doctor had decided to use the engines to try and bounce the station off the planet’s exosphere and back into space to safely break apart. But they were boarded by space pirates and a nano termite colony was busy eating the structure of the ship as they lost altitude. Not dull at all. Yaz was in the engine room, clearing out wiring for the Doctor who was sonicing a panel and trying to restore power. She growled in frustration and gave the drive system another blast of the sonic. The PA system beeped and Lucia’s voice rang out.  
“Doctor, they’re cutting the door to the hold open”  
The Doctor jumped to her feet, running her hands through her hair,  
“Those pirates will kill everyone in the hold, they only need me alive to pilot this thing for them, gotta stop them” she said to herself.  
“I’ll go, you get those engines working” Yaz said, disentangling herself from the wiring.  
“Ok go, send Lucia in here” she said, bending back over the screen she was trying to get to work.  
“Right” Yaz said as she ducked out of the engine room’s low door into the access tubes that ran through the station. 

Lucia was holed up in a security room near the hold. Yaz dropped out of the access tube into a corridor. Three pirates were using a laser to demolish the heavy double doors. The crew were on the other side. Yaz spotted Lucia, in the small office, the pirates clearly hadn’t seen her. She crept to the door and Lucia let her in.  
“Oh my god Yaz they’re gonna get through” she whispered. Yaz shook her head,  
“I have a plan, just get to the engine room, the Doctor asked for you” she said, despite the hurt. She was used to it by now, death defying situation but she wasn’t worried about the claws the size of a house or the death rays, she was worried about losing her Doctor. She was losing her, she thought, only in slow motion, and she was still here.  
“Go now” Yaz urged, letting Lucia squeeze past her and slip out the security room. When Lucia had scrambled up into the access tube, Yaz thought to herself, right, what was this plan then? She peeked round the door, the pirates had turned the doors into a charred mess at their feet, only one layer left it looked like. The Doctor hadn’t got the engines working yet. Yaz had to do something. What would the Doctor do? 

The pirates were cutting away at the doors when a whistle rang out behind them. They rounded on a girl, stood in the corridor,  
“Leave them alone” she called and the pirates looked at each other incredulously before they all ran towards her. Yaz took off running and realised she had no idea where the corridor went. She prayed she didn’t run into a dead end or a sealed door as she pounded down the metal corridors of the ship, the pirates behind her shouting indistinctly. They started firing slug rounds at her. The corridor lit up with missed shots hitting the walls and blooming into showers of sparks. Yaz ducked and weaved, thinking of the Doctor’s smile. Her eyes. The line of her neck. A slug flew past Yaz’s face, breaking her reverie as she felt the heat pass by and explode into the wall ahead of her. She twisted and vaulted through an access hatch and fell into a junction of tubes. She hit her shoulder and then her legs banged off something, then her head and everything went black. 

She woke up with the Doctor over her, back in her bedroom aboard the TARDIS.  
“Squeeze my hand” the Doctor ordered softly, and Yaz looked down, seeing her hand in her own. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d touched. She squeezed.  
“Good” the Doctor said, taking her hand out of Yaz’s and fishing the sonic out her pocket. She scanned Yaz with it, but all Yaz could think about was how she’d ripped her hand away.  
“Phew, nothing serious, the TARDIS medical bay sorted out your bruises and scrapes, you looked a mess when we found you” she said, putting her hands on her hips and shaking her head.  
“Did the station...?” Yaz started to ask when Lucia’s voice cut over her from the doorway,  
“Yep, retrothrusters carried it out of the atmosphere, the Doctor slingshotted it into space, the pirates beamed back to their ship when it started to break off and we got all the crew out on the TARDIS” she said smugly. Yaz closed her eyes,  
“Great” she said, glad the people were okay, but not about much else.  
“Luce can you go and check on them all, they’re in the pool” the Doctor asked and the girl nodded and left.  
“So, letting pirates chase you right into a concussion aside, how are you?” the Doctor asked, her voice coaxing. Yaz knew she had finally cottoned on. But she couldn’t admit it to her, she couldn’t tell her she was jealous, it was too pathetic, too sad, and if she said it, it’d be real.  
“I’m okay” Yaz said, the weight of the words she hadn’t said heavy. She looked at the Doctor, telling her as much as she could with her eyes, but that was all she could will herself to do.  
“As long as you’re okay then” the Doctor said, standing up to leave. As she got to the door the TARDIS vworped. It was far off, the console room was about a hundred yards from the bedrooms, but the machine made itself heard. The Doctor stopped and turned. Yaz knew that the TARDIS had told the Doctor something. She didn’t know how linked they were, or how telepathic the TARDIS was but that was clear enough.  
“You’re still my best mate Yaz” she said. Yaz nodded, blinking away the tears that rushed up, and swallowing the sigh she wanted to let out. Mate. Best mate. She had imagined it all. Built them up when there was nothing there. She waited for the Doctor to leave, and the moment she did the tears flowed. Yaz cried silently, letting herself feel it. She had thought of the Doctor and her as us for so long now, and that suddenly was gone. The loss felt so raw. 

Eventually Yaz rejoined the Doctor and Lucia in the console room. She had decided to stay, to see how it felt after some time passed, to see what trouble they could get into. A tiny part of her wanted to outlast Lucia. But it was only tiny. She didn’t like the girl, but it wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t the Doctor’s either, and she was through blaming herself. The Doctor continued to pull away from Yaz, the pair of them stayed together, going through the motions, but Lucia had replaced her. She had become the one at the Doctor’s side, the one she asked first, the favourite. Yaz took it all with a numb detachment, hell, she still knew the Doctor: the best person she’d ever met. She still had the privilege of all of time and space. Apart from their time together, the time of Yaz and the Doctor. That wasn’t a time they could pull a lever and go and visit in this silly old box.


End file.
